I recently enjoyed a day with my daughter and granddaughter at the beach. As we walked along the shore watching their two energetic Labradors bounding excitedly into the sea, it was obvious how completely at home they were in the freezing water with their thick layers of fur protecting them from the cold.
In that split second my mind rushed back to the days when I was in a very ‘cold’ place feeling completely ill-equipped for the journey……….and then back to the present, six years on – walking on a sunlit beach with my family. It was a surreal moment!
Yes, it’s been six years since my last chemotherapy treatment and five years since my last surgery. Over the last few months, I’ve experienced a definite shift in my thinking.
At my last check-up for recurrence my oncologist unexpectedly said that as my blood work continued to show no return of the cancer, he would be willing to discharge me! Those few words have had a significant impact on me.
If my doctor says he can now discharge me, then he must have confidence that my risk of recurrence has reduced to a level that no longer concerns them.
You might have thought I’d be jumping around for joy at this news and a part of me was delighted, but it has also taken my mind a while to let it sink in.
When anyone gets a diagnosis of cancer, their world changes forever! Of course, we have the obvious changes of treatment plans, hospital visits and recovery time but it goes so much deeper than simply those visible changes to our lives.
We are brought face-to-face with our own mortality, our own existence on this earth and the possibility that it might be coming to an end. One of the first pieces of advice I received from a specialist at Maggie’s Cancer Care was to make my will. She went on to encourage me to be positive but, in my state of shock, she was trying to show me that this was serious.
So, the news that I could now be discharged has taken me to a new place in my thinking. Interestingly for the first time, I’ve been able to contemplate losing the weight I’ve gained, post cancer treatment. I’d tried working on it before this but something in my mind stopped me each time. Phrases like ‘Life’s too short to not have a chocolate brownie’ would pop into my mind!
But deeper than that, I now realise that I’d connected losing weight to having cancer. At the cancer clinic, my weight was always checked and they’d say things like ‘This is the only clinic where we are happy for you to put on weight’, or they’d smile if my weight stayed the same. The message was very clear that they didn’t want me to lose any weight. So, it is only now that I feel it’s safe enough for me to lose the excess pounds! Alongside this, I set myself the goal of taking part in the Race for Life in June to raise money for Cancer Research UK. My daughter encouraged me to follow the Couch to 5K app to help me start jogging again!
Jogging alongside my daughter, granddaughter and friends was a significant moment in my post-cancer recovery – something I’d never thought I’d be able to do again! I even sent the photo above, to my oncologist to thank him for all his care of me.
I have friends and family who are going through treatment right now and others who have completed their treatment and are in remission. I also have friends and family who have died from the disease. Cancer is relentless in its onslaught on the human race.
I know I’ve said this before, but I want to say another HUGE thank you to all the doctors and researchers, nurses and pharmacists, who pour their lives into caring for us. The breakthroughs in cancer treatments over the past ten years have been extraordinary and I will be forever grateful for their dedication to finding a way of stopping cancer in its tracks.
I cannot end this post without acknowledging my DEEPEST THANKFULNESS to my Lord and Saviour, Jesus, and to all of you who prayed for me through this journey.
The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need…….
Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me….
Psalm 23: 1, 4 (NLT)
This woman's journey 